Crossroads

So I should be totally be sleeping now since I start back to work tonight, but I kind of fell asleep early last night and now I'm screwed. So it was off the the internet with my wandering mind.

I was all over the place as usually. I shopped for some books, choosing "Legends of the Fall" by Jim Harrison. My friend told me about him and described him as a Hemingway type of guy. Hopefully I will be able to get to it sooner rather than later as opposed to going in to my ever growing backlog of books.I also got into the ever present thoughts of escapism. I switched back and forth between two very different concepts, but equally distant from all of life's trials and tribulations.

I am coming to terms with the fact that in just a few short years, a major chapter of my life will be closing. My son is a sophomore in high school. Soon he will be off to college and embarking on his adult life of Astronaut President Explorer Writer. Just kidding, I'd never want him to be a politician. Anyway, being dad to your son is a life long adventure, but very soon he will be a man with only preventative maintenance required from time to time. This will leave me from lots a free time and less restrictions involving school districts and busy teen schedules. A new chapter will open.

I am drawn to two very different but strikingly similar things. The previous mentioned travel and RV living and the equally escapist off the grid homesteading. I am fascinated with the idea. I have been researching earthbag homes, solar and wind power, I adore gardening and have canned my crops in the past, livestock, bee keeping, and many other things. I can almost feel the satisfaction of crafting my own home made from dirt and sacks, raw wood and recycled materials. Growing my food. Every bit of effort going right towards my very being. Its as free as the open road. Freedom of the mind and soul. What do I choose though? I cannot reasonably do both.

I believe this is more an issue of the almost overwhelming possibilities of the freedom I will soon have. I will be free with my time, my obligations, my resources, and most importantly with my mind and soul. It is an awful lot to behold. I have a few years to let it all age and mellow. As the ideas come closer to reality, I am certain I will find the right path for this second act.

Right now I am going to finish my movie. I am watching "Sideways". It is pretty good so far and seems to be in tune with the midlife crisis and rebirth thing. It was also recommended by the same friend that told me about Jim Harrison. I hope this character doesn't suck start a shotgun or something, because that will really screw up the jive of this entry. TTFN!